Save your tantrums for what really matters to you . . .

It's been done before, but I thought you might appreciate some things I've learned about pulling together a major event like a wedding. In order of priority, here's what you need to know:

1. The basics - Who, What, When, Where
Obviously these are huge. Knowing these things answers pretty much all your questions that will come after. For example:
A wedding:
- bride and groom
- getting married
- next august
- home town church

Now how many battles are answered if you focus on these 4 simple facts? Who are the important people to be there? The bride and groom and someone who can marry them. That's it. Great Uncle Chester or Mom's best friend's cousin from Topeka are not necessary for this event to happen.

2. The budget.
How much do you want to spend? I mean really WANT and can AFFORD to spend. Do you want to be paying for this event for the next 10 years? Do you have money saved? Will Great Uncle Chester be paying for it (which would obviously change the answer to the question above)? Are you borrowing on credit cards and skimming next months rent and groceries? Some serious thought and hard core lines have to be drawn on this point before you go any further.

3. What are your top 3?
By this I mean, what would you be utterly heartbroken not to have happen?  This works for a wedding, a graduate, a birthday party, a retirement party or a funeral. For one bride the top three may be the gown, her flowers and her best friend. For another her number one thing may be having her family there to celebrate with her and having a big party. For a third bride it could the rings and a tropical beach. You see how this, combined with items 1 and 2 will do your planning for you? Your top 3 are where you spend you time, your money and your tantrums umm. . . emotional energy.

Many an event is derailed by third parties wanting to 'help'. Pick your top three. Keep iron grip control of those top three. Everything else is gravy. Cheap out on the invites if your dress is where you want to spend your money. Let tone deaf Aunt Mary play the piano and save your music money for the live band you have always dreamed of having at the reception. Let your colour blind brother in law help decorate and spend the money on your dream cake instead. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. What matters are your top three. By focusing on these and remembering this you will save yourself a lot of stress.

At the end of the day you and your mate will be married. Isn't that what really matters?